Monday, May 3, 2010


“Why would anyone care if you are having a bagel?”

My husband doesn’t use Twitter. Furthermore, he is mystified why I spend so much time there. So I felt obligated to explain to him the workings of this particular social media giant. It didn’t begin well.

“Twitter is a very fast link-up for people, and when you communicate, you use only 140 characters.”


“So it will be very fast.”

“Very fast to tell the world you are having a bagel?”

“Well, I use it for more lofty reasons. I use it to promote my blog.”

“Do your blog readers want to know if you are having a bagel?”

“IT’S NOT ABOUT BAGELS! People on Twitter tweet about Haiti, politics, animal rescue, the oil spill, and women’s issues!”

“But you don’t blog about any of that. You blog about cleaning the house, infomercials, shaving your legs, and getting old. How do you Tweet about shaving your legs?”

“I don’t Tweet about shaving my legs! I tweet with others about their writing, their state of mind, books, and cooking.”

“How in heaven’s name do you tweet about someone’s state of mind in 140 characters? Howru?”

“My God, you are so dense! Twitter is responsible for spreading the news faster than CNN or CNBC! The earthquake on Haiti was reported on Twitter first!”

“But you don’t tweet about the news. You tweet about doing laundry. I still don’t understand why your hundreds of followers want to know whether you use Chlorox or all fabric bleach…”

“I have never tweeted about the laundry.”

“So give me an example of one of your tweets!”

“Ok. I say things like: visit my latest blog post about my children.”

“And you say you have HOW MANY followers?”

To all my twitter friends: I am having a bagel.


  1. Very cute! ;0) My husband and I have had similar conversations about this! And, actually, before I "got" why everyone was to jazzed about Twitter, I wrote a blog post called "Tweet, Tweet, Yawn ..." but now I get it. It really is fun and a great way to connect, as long as it doesn't rule your life! ;0)

  2. Ha! Your husband sounds like a gem. What lovely arguments. He reminds me of my husband. You want to bonk him on the head with a salami and kiss him all at the same time. Twitter is a strange little tool, but it certainly has it's uses.

  3. Funny post.
    Short sentences and lots of questions almost always work :-)

  4. Thanks for the comments. He also plays the accordion...

  5. Funny. I love it. I remember when I said to my wife, "Twitter is more powerful and fun than Facebook." We were both surprised. I have all my clients on Twitter and it is working great within their Social Media strategy.

    Great job,


  6. I personally could not keep up with the pace and flow of Twitter ... it was too much for me and I quit!!!

  7. Love this post, perhaps because we love Twitter! (But you didn't tell us what flavor the bagel is. Sigh.)

    Grins & Giggles,

  8. It was a whole wheat bagel with butter spray and cinnamon with splenda...ugh. I am on Weight WAtchers!

  9. No, I don't understand twitter either. I mean why say something in 140 characters when you could use double/triple that amount? As always, great fun Molly. Oh and I'd love to see you do a post on the shaving of legs, I'm sure it woud be worth the read.

  10. I woke up this morning with a terrible cold, runny nose and sore throat. All I wanted to do was stay in bed and be miserable. Instead, I got up and this blog post was one of the first things I read. I'm so happy I got out of bed. It's wonderful to start the day with a good laugh. Thanks for that.

  11. Very funny!
    I never thought I'd end up on Twitter either until I saw the light...

    You can read how and why here :

    and it is amazing how much you can convey in 140 characters.
    Great post!

  12. I was unable to connect with Ellen's blog post about Twitter. It said that no blog of that name exists! Sigh.

  13. I'm rather glad my wife doesn't follow my Twitter stream. She'd have been looking into mental wards for me by now....

    P.S. Word verification is "spunge." Really? I don't even want to know what that means.

  14. Lol...I needed a good laugh!

  15. LOL It's hard to explain twitter to people. I was a little perplexed at first I have to admit! And somehow we do care what people are doing-and what kind of bagel you are having! :)

  16. :)

    Ah, but does he know that people write poetry on Twitter?

    Seriously, check it out. We have the coolest parties...

  17. My husband now has a Twitter acct. Get yours one! It helps. But read his stream occasionally. Or he'll be offended when you don't know that HE'S eaten a bagel. Trust me.

  18. Alex, he won't do twitter--he has a "Constant Contact" account that he uses to reach 4000 of his closest friends! We both spend WAY TOO much time on our laptops! Thanks for visiting!

  19. LOL. Great convo! I just jumped on the Twitterwagon not too long ago and I can't get into it for some reason. Maybe it's because there already is a community out there among my followers who seem really friendly with each other and I just feel like that shy stranger in the corner wondering when to butt in, or not feeling quite right doing so.

    I don't know - it's weird. Plus there are often so many tweets that I find it hard to keep up. How do you do it?

  20. I out tweeted my husband in 3 months!! He had been on Twitter for 2 years!! I am addicted!! I tweet mainly humor or kindness quotes! I love the news links but have also shopped on Twitter!! ;) I also love the way people can share their blog, their ideas, their thoughts, and friendship! I have made great friendships on Twitter and have also had the opportunity to promote my blog!! I am pretty sure you and I connected thanks to Twitter and I love it when that happens!! I love your blog and my hubby doesn't get why I tweet ALL the time either!! ;)

  21. I love Twitter! It's like jumping into a moving river of conversation. Love it. I posted about it, but I HATE when people link their own crap in my comment section. If you are interested in reading, DM me! And I will tweet you a link. Love Twitter!

    Also? Love this post, by the way.

  22. And now I am posting again because Blogger is not showing me the love, and I come up as anonymous. This is Pretty All True.

  23. Well, Kris and Justine, and Fanderson--here is the thing: I think twitter is like being at a huge cocktail party, where you can eavesdrop on all kinds of conversations, as well as making small talk with all kinds of people. Just like at a party, there are some people you want to get to know a little better, and some that you don't. I love twitter, and most people I talk to think it is addictive as well. It is a great place to promote your blog, as even Kris will attest to! Thanks so much for all your kind comments. See you on twitter!

  24. Forgive them, for they know not what they know not about...

    (or something)


    A hearty twit

  25. As someone who has pretty much an entire blog post devoted to my love of bagels I say:

    Go Twitter.

  26. Wait, it's not about bagels? Drats.

  27. I've just found your comment on my blog elleonthego,unfortunately it was considered as spam so I had not seen it before.
    Thank you for your comment which i replied to.
    Hope your husband is much better now.
    How odd to see in your comments ,you could not access my blog,if you click on the icon,it does take straight there.
    Wishing you a happy Mother's day.
    Kind regards,Elle

  28. Ellen, thanks, but somehow it doesn't work at my end! But I will visit your blog anyway! Happy Mom's Day to all of you who are mothers! molly

  29. Have a bagel on me. With cream cheese.

  30. cute post. love your writing. Found you through tweet me Tuesday and Melinda's site. I have attended Erma Bombeck conference a couple of times - see you were a winner. great conference I hope to attend again.

  31. Haha, this a great post. And the "bagel issue" is totally something I have to explain to everyone who's not on Twitter...

  32. OMG. This post has garnered more comments than I thought possible! Thanks to everyone. And I prefer blueberry bagels.m

  33. I am avoiding the twitter thing. i think i would just bore everyone with too much mundane info! ;)
    ps. i just ate a chocolate chip muffin, haha

  34. Coming over from Cassandra's blog. This one cracked me up. I'm sort of with your husband...even though I Tweet. But I will feel like it's a big social club, and that I'm on fringe, looking in. I can't quite find my space on Twitter.

    Nice to meet you here!

  35. I really like your blog! I found you through a friend and your writings remind me of another gal I follow. Heather Armstrong. Congratulations on your award!


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