Sunday, May 23, 2010

TIVO WARS CONTINUE TO RAGE

They say that opposites attract. That certainly seems to be the case with my marriage. He is skinny, and let’s not say that I am FAT, but that Weight Watchers is my sorority. He plays a pretty good game of golf, and I think that nothing could be more boring than hitting a little ball, then having to walk a mile, talking with three other people about Tiger Woods, and then hitting it again.

However, the source of a great deal of my angst these days is the brand new, high def, slender screened, sleek looking television in the den. Really, you can see Matt Lauer’s PORES. I am thrilled with it. I want to watch all my shows and see them in a way I have never seen them before.

My husband, the accordion man, has his own ideas about entertainment. Apparently he studies the TV guide and marks the shows he wants to TiVo with a highlighter. He then TiVos every single one of them. Nothing wrong with that. However, there is a huge imbalance that exists, and this is going to be my undoing.

Here are the shows I adore: Grey’s Anatomy. Anything involving hunting for a house, designing a house, staging battles on blocks, and losing massive amounts of weight. I also favor dog training, infomercials for gadgets that make omelets and bake cakes at the same time, and yoga shows. I love nothing more than sitting down to the TiVo with a nice steaming cup of coffee with sugarfree Vanilla dairy less creamer, a cat on my lap, to watch some rich person look at New York lofts with the Kliers.

But this is not happening! The TiVo has been taken over by my husband’s interests. The “browse recordings” screen has NOTHING TO OFFER ME. For instance, just yesterday afternoon, here was the bill of fare: “The First Christians,” “Black Holes,” “Stephen Hawking Explains the Universe,” “Lions and Other Massive Predators Killing and Eating Things Right Before Your Eyes,” “String Theory Demystified,” and last but certainly not least, “The Three Stooges.”

On that same screen, here were my options: “House Hunters” (a rerun), and “Cats 101” also a rerun. The Siamese and I were out of luck. I considered trying Stephen Hawking, but he is impossible for a lowbrow like me to fathom. “The Early Christians” was, truthfully, BORING. Oh yes, and there was one episode of “Red Green” available, but I had seen that one.

What is a person to do? We have had some discussions about the fact that Charlie RECORDS all of these shows, but rarely WATCHES them, thus leaving them on the TiVo roster, and hogging all the space. I swear, “Vandals and Goths” has been sitting there waiting for someone to watch them rape and pillage for SIX MONTHS.

I have figured out a revenge strategy, though. Once a week, in the afternoon when he is in the basement communing with his accordion, I go in and ERASE a show. Yesterday I killed “Early Attempts at Creating Atomic Fission in a Basement in Milwaukee.” So far, he hasn’t noticed.

Have any of you seen the latest “Househunters International?” Will you tell me about it?

25 comments:

  1. Ah the TiVo wars! When we got DVR with cable, we established family limits. No one could use more than a third of the space. Surprisingly, daughter is the most diligent one of us, deleting shows as soon as she watches, and constantly asking us if we can delete things. While you might not need a technology policy at home, you might negotiate some mutually agreeable guidelines. If not, how else will you be able to watch house hunting cats who need to lose weight?

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  2. Lions and Other Massive Predators Killing and Eating Things Right Before Your Eyes -- my husband and your husband have more than Sagan Explains the Universe in common ;-) Great post.

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  3. Our DVR is filled with Sponge Bob, the Simpsons, and every show on Nick that celebrates characters screaming at the top of their lungs. That's for the under 12 set. My husband loads up on science shows, basketball, Chris Matthews and Keith Olberman.

    For me? Nothing.

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  4. I think your idea of going in and deleting is a good one. But you are much nicer than me. I would delete one everyday. And get in there and set up your recordings before him.

    Or, get another DVR. That way, he can record and not watch what he wants, and you can record and watch what you want to :)

    I love Ghost Hunters. Regular and International. Didn't catch the newest one tho. International scares the crap out of me.

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  5. I bet the stooges are easiest to get rid of since they all have similar titles. Tip from me to you.

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  6. Hee! We don't have a TiVo in our household, nor do I watch enough TV to merit arguments with my wife over shows. When she turns on the telly to watch Project Runway or something, I usually open the laptop, turn on the iPod, and start writing. It works well. :)

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  7. A man after my own heart, I sit every Thursday with a highlighter pen marking what I want to watch on tv the next week.

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  8. This has obviously touched some nerves! He is right now watching something about ancient warring devices. molly

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  9. I think you need to seize control and cancel away!!! Surely House Hunters could EASILY dominate all ... Mr. Jenners watches HH International and there are 58 episodes waiting to be watched. I blog or read so I don't watch much TV so we don't have a problem.

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  10. I admit that I contributed to my husband's obsession with the DVR. He was under employed for over a year and I was away from home a lot. He would DVR his shows and have something to watch when nothing was on.

    Now things have changed. He works full time and I've been laid off. Yet, the DVR is full *FULL* with Walker, TNA Impact, WWE Raw, WWE Smackdown, WWE NXT, MacGyver and JAG. He is five weeks behind in watching the wrestling shows and I cannot keep even one episode of House Hunters International.

    So, from now on, instead of looking for a job - I am watching my shows live. Should cut down on the battles over the DVR.

    (jk)

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  11. Sharon and Jenners, you have great husbands! Thank goodness my husband doesn't like wrestling! And IF ONLY Charlie would watch HH with me!

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  12. You are too funny. So Glad I am single and have no TV. When I need a laugh I know where to come visit.

    Wish I could just type in my name and url vs the choices here that I never use SIGH

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  13. Very funny! I love the idea of you sneaking in and erasing! In this house my husband takes control of the remote in a very annoying way...I may use your idea and twist it a bit, perhaps removal of the batteries would be a start!

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  14. My wife and I have the same battles here in Australia. Our cable company is called Foxtel and space is limited to what we can record. So I also have a 500gb DVR. So we record on the Foxtel and the later onto the DVR if we are running out of space. Trouble is, we are now running out of space on the DVR too!

    Argh. I better watch some TV.

    Nice post Molly! I look forward to more.

    Jack

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  15. Hahaha! I feel your pain.I'm Miss Piggy, married to Kermit the frog. And, he's an engineer. Anyway, we don't have a DVR for that very reason. He would fill mine with only AFV (america's funniest home videos, and soccer, some women's softball...who watches THAT?) Let's hold each other, we can make it through this.

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  16. Heya Molly!

    Opposites to attract, and I know exactly how it goes!

    Why did I think I was the only one whose husband has pretty much 'marked his territory' when it comes to the DVR. I work from home but I literally do not turn the TV on at all during the day. When I finally decide to call it a day and want to watch one of my fav's (The Inbetweeners, Vampire Diaries, Kitchen Nightmares, etc) I am pretty much S.O.L - the husband comes home and caresses the remote like it is some sort of lovemaking Goddess. Only he can hold it; only he can press the buttons. SERIOUSLY! I find all shows on the Speed channel to be coma inducing for me. I don't want to watching him tinker on his car never-mind some guy do it on tv?!
    I kind of threw in the towel on picking TV shows. I find that since I stay up pretty late while he is sleeping I can watch something I like!

    JaimeAnn

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  17. Huh. Maybe it's good that we don't have a DVR.

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  18. We have a DVR, but we made a rule. Anything sitting on there for more than 3 days? The first person who notices it gets to delete it. We don't need a huge back-load of television waiting for us.

    If it's important enough to DVR, then sit down and watch it.

    Otherwise, one of our daughters will delete it in favor of another episode of the joy that is iCarly.

    And I'm good with that.

    kris@prettyalltrue.com

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  19. I've given up on our DVR. The only show I really inSIST upon watching is Desperate Housewives, and my husband does keep that on there. But get this: hubs also records SPORTS broadcasts!! What's the point of keeping a football game on there for a week if you already know who won?

    now following. :-)

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  20. I could do a little Stephen Hawking with a House Hunters chaser. We don't Tivo round here, but we do Netflix instant. Last I saw was about 350 movies, TV shows and documentaries sitting in our queue. Most of them, not put there by me. I'm a sad-sack though, really only watch when the hubs is sitting near by. Otherwise, you'll find me skulking about here on the nets :)

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  21. I wish we had a rule or 3 day limit. But I can't stand to impede my dear husband in his pursuit of knowledge, however BORING that may be to me! Thanks, EVF, Kris, and Adrienne, and Katie!Jaime Ann, i feel your pain! molly

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  22. Oh what a great idea!

    My big complaint is not so much who gets to TIVO what (in Canada we call it PVR), I get my fair share. It's the snoring man on the couch who refuses to go to bed, but is just loud enough that I can't hear what Sarah and Tommy are deciding about that gorgeous fabric - Hmmmppphhh!

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  23. I am very happy to have found your blog. As an empty nester 50-something blogger, it has felt lonely out there among all of the young moms. As for the Tivo wars, I solved ours by putting my wish on the Christmas list and then choosing my own new flatscreen TV and DVR for my office. My husband and I watch Bones and House together and then go off to our separate lairs. It works well and we're both happy!

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  24. I have that same snoring man! We start to watch one of those awful science shows, and he falls asleep! I like the idea of having my own TV and DVR! thanks for your support! molly

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  25. Oh this made me laugh! It's like the same wars go on all over the planet! We don't have Tivo or even Sky+ which a lot of people do herein the UK. He likes things like Megastructures and anything to do with Germany (no idea why), whereas I like things like ER, Grey's Anatomy and America's/Canada's/Britain's Next Top Model. We do watch lots of house programmes together though. He's just as much into them as I am. And he's a golfer!

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