Monday, August 10, 2009


The older I get, the more I appreciate the person who wrote that book about Mars and Venus. Not that I read the book, but evidently the author pointed out that men and women are so different that it isn’t even funny. After almost 40 years of marriage, I still don’t understand the opposite sex. So what is it with men, anyway?

Friendship. For women, a friend is a lifeline, someone to share problems with. Women are good sounding boards. Women lunch with their friends, talk on the phone with their friends, babysit for their friends, laugh with their friends, and weep with their friends. Men don’t really have friends, but they have CRONIES. Cronies share sports, cigars, and poker.

Entertainment. For women, a wonderful evening consists of a beautiful dinner with candles, and a romantic movie. Alternatively, women enjoy drives in the country, shopping, picnics, and anything involving other women. Men enjoy watching sports on TV, scratching themselves, repairing cars, and anything involving tools.

Humor. Is there any woman, anywhere, who thinks that “The Three Stooges” are funny?

Gifts. I don’t even know where to BEGIN on this one! I feel I can speak for most women here. For us, the perfect gift involves jewels, perfume, anything associated with fashion or containing a thread count of over 300. Here are some examples of gifts that my friends and I have received from our husbands: socks, bed pillows, car caddies, Tupperware, “The Autobiography of Ann Heche,” birdseed, and AN ELECTRIC TOOTHBRUSH. Need I say more?

Tourism. To me the perfect vacation consists of an exciting city, a beautiful hotel with Frette sheets, wonderful food, theatre, and it goes without saying—SHOPPING. For my husband and many men, the perfect vacation includes lots of brochures about local attractions such as caverns, tractor pulls, civil war monuments, suspension bridges, and industrial museums. For me, to be seen on a street corner of an exotic city with a new purse hanging on my shoulder is exciting. For Charlie, the thrill involves hanging both regular and digital cameras around his neck, stuffing his pockets with maps, and standing on that same street corner peering intently at a guidebook. The highlight of our last vacation was our excursion (thanks to one of those brochures) to see the world’s largest concrete horseshoe crab.

Driving. For women, getting in the car is a means to the Mall. For men, the car is a gift from God. The faster the car, the better, apparently. No matter that we have speed limits in this country—just the fact that a car has the POTENTIAL to go over a hundred miles an hour is a reason to own it. Accessories? To me, that means a stainless steel and gold watch, diamond studs, and a Coach bag. To Charlie it means side pipes, white walls, a custom paint job, and mini moons.

But here is the thing: why are men so CUTE


  1. They are are when they don't scratch themselves while wearing this God awful vest ;).

    Good to know that no matter how long you're with a man , you never quite understand him.

  2. Could it be because men try so hard to understand women?

  3. ok... i think i lucked out a little, since my husband does like to shop.. as do I! and we both love seeing weird attractions on vacation... world's largest concrete horseshoe crab?.. we'll be there. we saw the world's biggest frying pan in Long Beach, WA. .. but granted that wasn't the sole purpose of our trip. :)

  4. You are totally CORRECT!!!!!!! I was married for 17 years and have been single for the last 15. My point in all of this is I rather hold down 5 jobs than to ever be married again. Reasons why: #1. Men are difficult to understand.
    #2. It is and always has been a mans world.
    #3. I like to do what I want when and how I want to.
    #4. The ex sucked the life out of me. I don't want to start all over again.
    #5. I work in a retirement home and 90% of visitors or caregivers are usually the daughters,daughter in laws,nieces,grandaughters and gay sons.

  5. What you described I would say a cliche types. It would be a really depressing world if it was only the way your describe. But I appreciate a good joke. :^)))

  6. Just celebrated our 34th. I love men but yes, thank God they are so different. I came from a large family with lots of men and boys in it. You have to know their language and I don't think many women do.
    A clue is they focus on one thing at a time. Some say due to past hunting practice.
    If you wait till they are done focusing then you may get them to focus on you. Not all but most anyway.

  7. Your blog is so cute. I must subscribe!

    Btw, I don't think that men understand men. They deem themselves as logical and then do the illogical! So much for Spock.

    Thanks for the comment on my blog. I appreciate it. Don't give up on me too soon as I plan to have more things on dogs (I did have one there now) and more in the realm of crafting and art. Just going to take a bit to get there. :)

  8. Oh, how true this is! Re: "tourism:" on a family vacation to Hawaii, my father decided we must all go look this marvel of nature he RAVED about the whole plan trip over...Molly, it was basically a hole in the rocks which spouted a bit of water when the tide was high. There we were, in the most beautiful place on this planet, and he was enthralled with a dinky little hole in the rocks. It's been 16 years and we still make fun of him :-)

  9. An electric toothbrush? That takes the biscuit! J x


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