Saturday, June 12, 2010

HOARDERS

By now, we have all either seen or heard of that horrible reality show that exposes the folks who can’t seem to throw anything away. Most of us feel calmly superior while watching, patting ourselves on the back that here is at least ONE personality disorder that we don’t have to worry about.

But this morning, I went down into the basement to put in a load of laundry, and I took a look around. In the midst of a huge collection of stuff sat the accordion man, happily working on a project. I pointed out to him that we were both surrounded by THINGS. He nodded. “I have been trying to get rid of this stuff and the stuff in the attic for years now, but you don’t want me to.”

So I took an inventory of the things that I have been hesitating to eliminate:

LIBRARY CHAIRS. We don’t use them any more, but they are very comfortable, all wood, and I see ones just like them in catalogs. That makes them worth something, doesn’t it? Despite the chewing gum on the bottoms, the puffy paint on the seats, and the fact that they wobble when sat upon?

PINE CONES. It galls me to have to PAY for something that is plentiful in nature. Pine cones are used by some of the most famous decorators on HGTV, and they can enhance any table setting. They also look smart filling baskets by the hearth. A stash of pine cones is a necessity for modern trend setters.

FOLDING CHAIRS. I once had a party for over fifty people, and those chairs came in handy. Extra seating is another thing that folks like Carolyn Roehm and Vern Yip recommend. I believe that Sister Parrish had folding chairs aplenty in her home also. I rest my case.

LUGGAGE. Although we take few trips, it never hurts to be ready for an excursion. Writers need inspiration, and often find it in faraway places. The fact that the last trip we took was to West Virginia to see my mother is no way a factor. It is necessary to be ready to take off for parts unknown at a moment’s notice. Rick Steves says so.

WEDDING GIFTS. There are some really nice silver items in the basement that have never come out of their original boxes. Why, just the other day, I discovered a BEAUTIFUL pair of candlesticks that I don’t even remember receiving! It was like Christmas! They are now on the dining room table. I do admit that the three fondue sets are expendable, but there are three bun warmers and two hot trays that I will need to use along with the folding chairs, at my next party for fifty people. They stay.

If you live in an apartment or condo, you must be streamlined in your approach to life. But if you live in a house with a large basement and an attic, you can afford to hold on to valuable items that might some day have usefulness or great worth as antiquities. “Antiques Roadshow” was created for people with full basements and attics.

“Hoarders” is for sick people.

20 comments:

  1. You are fortunate. In Florida, attic-less and basement-less folks like us have to rent storage units for our stuff. I'll have you know we have recently downsized our stuff from 3 units to one! But then there is that 2 bdr condo we have here with Andrea's stuff that we could also use...

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  2. Hoarders makes me anxious about how much stuff we have, but the best way to make it better is to just throw away some of your husband's stuff. Surefire cure, works for me everytime!

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  3. There but for the grace of God go I. I love your closing comment about Antiques Roadshow. It's just the type of justification hoarders need. :)

    Thanks again for your very kind words today.

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  4. I have a two car garage/basement. It can't receive a car and isn't useful for human inhabitation either. My goal is to have it empty by fall. Just like I attempted last summer. And the summer before that.

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  5. People who live by the rule of, "If you haven't used it or worn it in 6 months, get rid of it" make me nervous. Do they not KNOW that everything comes back in style if you're patient? Not to mention those unexpected parties for 50 that you mentioned, because heaven forfend if you're unprepared for those. You'll notice little groups of those 50 people standing (because they have no place to sit) around, furtively whispering about how sad it is that there are no handy folding or library chairs. Others will, no doubt, decry the lack of the currently making-a-comeback fondue sets.

    Embrace your squirreling away habits - I declare it is a very SANE trait, particularly when one can come up with equally sane, logical arguments for keeping said squirreled away items. That's my theory and I'm standing firm on it, even if I do have to go up on tiptoe and wave a hand over the top of a mountain of stuff for you to see me!

    ~ Dawn

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  6. Being two non-drivers with a garage attached to the house, we are a hoarders paradise. Dangerous to start making lists like this as you end up finding a use for everything and nothing gets thrown out. Have you thought about ebay for your library chairs?

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  7. Great post. I had this aha moment yesterday. We have a small back room upstairs, that I have to go thru to get to my closet. Room is filled with bland CDs, boxes from electronics, old keybaoards, etc. It looks like the abandoned storeroom of a tech store, with a few blankets and books thrown in. Seriously doubt it holds any treasure and it must go. Bit who has the time?!

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  8. I'm sure the hoarders can justify their stuff too! HAHA!

    And if you ever need pinecones, just let me know. I have tons of them in my backyard. I could have my Little One gather you up a box of more than 450 if you want!

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  9. Im with you on the pinecones- I don't know where Jenners lives, but I would love a box of pine cones;-)
    I watch Hoarders and feel I am doing just fine.

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  10. Oy. Having just spent half a day in our basement yesterday barely making a dent, I conclude it is a very fine line between "savers" and ""hoarders." Fantastic, relatable post.

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  11. Well, thanks for all the support! I am not budging on the pine cones! Love to you all.

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  12. Ohhhhh, I always wished I had something to take on the Antiques Roadshow. They're always so lively on that show ;)

    But, library chairs? How cool is that? What do you do with them? Do you paint them funky colors and decoupage them? Maybe glue little mosaics on them? I bet you could make a mint selling them.

    And you know what's funny? When I was a kid, I used to collect pine cones from my grandma's house and sell them to all her neighbors for a buck a piece. I know, right? Nutter Incorporated.

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  13. It depends on what stuff we keep. My mom-in-law kept all the toys that my husband and SIL played with when they were kids and some of their clothes and their drawings/work when they were little. Now she gave those drawings/work to my hub & SIL to keep to pass down to their children. My daughter is playing with toys from my hub n SIL's time and wears some of the dress n sweaters from them too. I wish I did keep some of the stuff of my childhood but when moving to a new apartment, we threw away a lot of old stuff unfortunately due to space constraint. :(

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  14. Now I feel better, and I am going to paint my chairs and set up a chair and pine cone stand in front of my house....

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  15. I'll come when you have a garage sale. I love silver.

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  16. I have so much trouble getting rid of anything. I almost had a breakdown when I replaced my old cell phone with a newer one. I still haven't taken the old one to a special recycling place because I'm worried I might need it one day. I also still have pants from six years ago, just in case they come back in style--never mind that even if they ARE in style, I'll be too old to look good in them; text books from courses I took 10 years ago, so the references are all outdated; and video tapes of shows I've already replaced on DVD. You know, in case my DVD player breaks.

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  17. You are all kindred spirits, and when I have a garage sale, I will let you know! xo

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  18. I understand! Clean House is what helps me out . . .

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  19. Rick Steves upsets me. First of all, I want to see him talk about the things I'M interested in: carousing and licentiousness. Why does Rick Steves not carouse? Why else would one travel to a foreign country?

    He's too wholesome for his own good. Who can take a guy like that seriously?

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  20. I actually went on a UK TV show called "Gutted" To name just a few things, they took over 1500 comic books, hundreds of books, hundreds of CD's, hundreds of DVD', retro toys and much much more. In the end I vetoed nothing and the TV show sold it all in an auction. I am going to get my life down to 5 items; laptop, hardrive, camera, iPod and phone.
    Beyond my pushbike, car, and clothes I intend to stay as Zen as I can with my posessions. I wrote about it on my blog but lost all the posts. I was more gutted about the loss of my writing rather than anything else.

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